Texts From Last Night

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  (217): View more from Illinois

  he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.

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  (217): he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike. http://tfl.nu/fre7
  Replies (47) Good night (8742) Bad night (904) Order T-Shirt
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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."

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  (724): You kept referring to your penis as "this guy." http://tfl.nu/osjv
  Replies (18) Good night (5040) Bad night (1167) Order T-Shirt
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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!

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  (724): I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it! http://tfl.nu/y71c
  Replies (3) Good night (3961) Bad night (1040)
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  (540): View more from Virginia

  I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.

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  (540): I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them. http://tfl.nu/t9kz
  Replies (6) Good night (1087) Bad night (2692) Order T-Shirt
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  (913): View more from Kansas

  Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now

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  (913): Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now http://tfl.nu/wp4u
  Replies (35) Good night (7310) Bad night (789) Order T-Shirt
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  (716): View more from New York

  Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?

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  (716): Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country? http://tfl.nu/yu48
  Replies (7) Good night (3471) Bad night (774) Order T-Shirt
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  (512): View more from Texas

  The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.

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  (512): The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain. http://tfl.nu/r278
  Replies (6) Good night (1878) Bad night (724) Order T-Shirt
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer

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  (519): we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer http://tfl.nu/j198
  Replies (13) Good night (2359) Bad night (685) Order T-Shirt
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation

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  (978): also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation http://tfl.nu/1tpq
  Replies (4) Good night (1567) Bad night (610) Order T-Shirt
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  (559): View more from California

  she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends

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  (559): she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends http://tfl.nu/3qzm
  Replies (49) Good night (764) Bad night (3372) Order T-Shirt
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  (631): View more from New York

  We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.

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  (631): We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata. http://tfl.nu/hydj
  Replies (2) Good night (404) Bad night (1221) Order T-Shirt
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  (417): View more from Missouri

  Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.

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  (417): Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink. http://tfl.nu/412l
  Replies (5) Good night (1851) Bad night (530) Order T-Shirt
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  (406): View more from Montana

  Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving

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  (406): Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving http://tfl.nu/p7rm
  Replies (18) Good night (1963) Bad night (337) Order T-Shirt
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  (585): View more from New York

  Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride

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  (585): Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride http://tfl.nu/ym4t
  Replies (3) Good night (941) Bad night (224)
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  (496): View more from

  I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically

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  (496): I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically http://tfl.nu/83i3
  Replies (4) Good night (689) Bad night (233) Order T-Shirt

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