He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
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