It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
