I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Randomize
