Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Randomize
