He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
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