Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize