I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
