There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Randomize
