me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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