Only a mothe r could love this liver
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Randomize
