This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
from now on my penis is your penis
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
where are you?
Hypothermia
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Randomize
