Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
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