My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
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Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
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I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
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