but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
you traded sex for a burrito?
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Randomize
