So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
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