I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
pray to the hookup gods
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
