I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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