Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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