Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
