Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
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