Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Randomize
