how can u be prego again
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
