In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
Even the bartender felt bad for me
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
You need a sexual gate keeper
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Randomize
