i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
