With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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