Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
