I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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