Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
