mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Randomize
