people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Randomize
