The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
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