Porn is love you can see.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
Randomize
