i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Randomize
