And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
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