Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
