ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Randomize
