Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Randomize
