Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
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Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
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I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
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