girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Randomize
