It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
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I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
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I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
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