Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
