i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
