I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Terrible idea I love it
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
