my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
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