Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
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