Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
i think i have herpe
just one?
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
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