I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
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