his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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