called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
Randomize
