The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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