Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
