Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Randomize
