Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
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