you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
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I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
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Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
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