You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
I've blown a few things in my day
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
