finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
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