i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
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